I've spent my whole life as a "Yes" girl. Anyone needed a favor or a ride or a loan or a kidney--I was the go-to girl. I couldn't say no. No matter how overwhelmed or overworked I was, I was somehow physically unable to get the word "NO" to come out of my mouth. This has led to me doing some things I wasn't really thrilled about. Babysitting the neighbor girls for hours every day for free comes to mind....what can I say? I'm a people-pleaser!
That has HAD to change as I've had my home business. Juggling four kids and their various schedules and activities, household management, church responsibilities AND trying to work full time from home...I just can't say yes to everything anymore. As much I like helping people and want to serve others, there are times when I have to just say no--and not worry so much about what people think about me when I do! One great idea for me has been to set business hours for myself. When you work from home, it's easy to let other things slip in when you should be working. It's also easy for other people to not realize that you work and ask you to do stuff.
I've had to realize that it is okay to say no. It really is! Practice with me now.
NO!
Kind of liberating, isn't it? Set your priorities and work your way down. For me, family always comes first. So sometimes I have to say no to business things if they conflict with family time. And it's OKAY!! When I was asked to take on a HUGE volunteer opportunity in the community earlier this year, I really struggled but ended up saying no, knowing I did not have the time available to commit to it. And it was OKAY!! I know my limits and no one is going to protect my sanity except for myself!
Things to remember:
--It's usually a good idea to not rush into anything. Take some time--you don't have to commit to a decision right away. And if you are feeling pressured into making a decision quickly, it's likely not the best thing to be jumping into! If someone can't wait for you to make an educated decision, then they have effectively made the decision very easy for you.
--Just because you are capable of doing something, doesn't mean you HAVE to do it! Even if you know you could do an amazing job at it...if you are worried that you won't have time, that it won't be done well, that you have too much on your plate...you probably do! Take the hint and move on!
--Only you know what will work best for your schedule and your family and your situation and your mental health. Don't worry about how it looks or what people might think. I think often in this day and age people aren't used to hearing the word no. They'll get over it. DO NOT allow yourself to feel guilt over guarding the well-being of your work and family life!
--Along with not worrying about what other people are thinking, don't compare yourself with other people. I know a few Superwomen. They are amazing, impressive and I really think they can leap over tall buildings in a single bound while cooking homemade whole wheat crepes and creating intricate personalized Valentine's for every student in their kids' classes and chairing the school fundraising committee and selling adorable wall-hangings on Etsy and running 50K races on the weekend. That's not me. I can only do so much and comparing myself with these ultra-humans serves absolutely no purpose. Remember, "Comparison is the thief of joy" (Theodore Roosevelt.) So don't do it.
So, I hereby give everyone permission to say no when necessary. Politely decline. You don't even need to give a reason. Mind-blowing for some of you, I know! You can do it!!
Just. Say. No.
